Praise the Lord when it comes out easy Praise the Lord on top of the world Praise the Lord ‘cause in every moment Jesus Christ is Lord Even in the middle of the joys of life There is always grace enough today to Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Won’t you praise the Lord? Praise the Lord with the world on your shoulders Praise the Lord when it seems too hard Praise the Lord ‘cause in every moment Jesus Christ is Lord Even in the middle of the long, dark night There is always grace enough today to Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Won’t you praise the Lord? Praise the Lord if you can sing it at the top of your lungs Praise the Lord like every moment is a song to be sung Praise the Lord: though it might take blood, sweat and tears in your eyes There is grace for today so praise the Lord There is grace for today so praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Won’t you praise the Lord? There is grace for today so praise the Lord
So, here I was thinking I'd write about the crochet blanket I made.... but it turns out I already did.
Warning: This is a 'moan', please don't read on if you'd like to have a lovely day.
I'm not really with it these days, I'm not sure what to write about, what to share, what is too much and what is so far from the truth it's a lie.
Yesterday I had a lovely day. Church was a combined service with three or four other churches from around Te Anau - the whole room was packed, the atmosphere was thick with joyfulness. My boy was SO well behaved. I was on cloud nine most of the day. Work in the evening went quickly and it was fun.
Today, I feel like a heavy cloud has come over me, like a slow fog in the morning, but thicker and thicker all day until evening. Every question I'm asked I find my answer quickly turns out to be negative and my thoughts run into a dark place where I'm bitter and sad and miserable and I can't move out of the darkness that is clawing at my inner being.
"How was your weekend?" The first thing I thought of was the fact that it was yet another weekend away from my husband. Another few days of not finding out what's happening along the lines of us getting together again.
How much longer should we wait until we give it up, pack in this dream that has turned into a nightmare, and leave it for good?
"How was your weekend?" I thought about the question and my thoughtless answer, and realized I was shocked at my response. I had mumbled something about "sick of waiting...tired of not knowing." The real answer, should have been along the lines of, "Well, actually, I had a great weekend." The truth. Instead, how I was feeling right then and there came up. In hindsight, I should have apologized to my co-worker for my negativity. She was probably feeling sorry for asking. How rude was I? She'll probably never ask me how my weekend was ever again. Shame on me.
We're in limbo. Vertigo. My family is in limbo. Miles and miles and miles apart, waiting for something that just doesn't seem to be happening. We can't see it happening. You know, I'm going to jinx it by saying something stupid like, "I bet we'll hear from them in a few days and I'll be a different person."
In the mean time I made a baby blanket! I found some beautiful linen yarn in an Etsy shop called Linen Spirit, in Lithuania. Alla kindly put together a special listing for me, with the right ply and the right colours and the right quantity that I was after.
As soon as it arrived I was in (linen-yarny-goodness) heaven. Instead of crocheting the 4ply yarn with a small hook, I decided to crochet two balls together and use my 4mm Susan Bates crochet hook. I picked a retro-circles crochet pattern and added a couple of extra 'rounds' to make the squares bigger.
I knew before I started that linen shrinks quite a lot when it's first washed, so I made the edge wider and measured the finished blanket before I washed it, just to see how much it was going to shrink.
Before washing: 75 x 90cm. After washing (and drying in the dryer to make it really-really shrink): 63 x 82(ish)cm. Wowzers. More than I was expecting, but very good to know!
The photo above is a close-up of it before it was washed. It didn't lay flat, every. single. circle. stuck up like a boob. If it were a woven fabric, I'd call it an open-weave and a little stiff, like a heavy drill. I was a little worried it was going to stay like that.
But. Oh, but. A man at Harald's Fabric Shop in Christchurch once told me that the more you wash linen, the softer it gets.
He was right.
Post-washing: All of the circles laid flat - without ironing or blocking. It was no longer an open-weave, all the crocheting was settled and snug with the next loop. It had such beautiful drape to it, like a soft and heavy fabric. The green was still a lush vibrant green, the colours didn't bleed or soak into anything else that went through the wash.
I decided that I absolutely love linen yarn and the way it just 'is'.
The peach linen yarn I used on the back of my hoodie is from the same shop, Linen Spirit, and came in the same package.
As soon as it was done, I packaged this 'baby-blanket-made-with-love' up and sent it through to the UK, where it was warmly received not even a week later.